


Vacuus

by Marta_Ayanami



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Chain of Memories, Gen, but also slight spoilers for Dream Drop Distance, definitely oneshot, just something I've scribbled rn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-13
Updated: 2018-02-13
Packaged: 2019-03-17 20:22:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13666614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marta_Ayanami/pseuds/Marta_Ayanami
Summary: You're scared of setting your memories straight, because then, wouldn't you be completely empty? You're not like all those people full of stuff, lying they're empty. You really are empty, instead, you'll lie that you're not.You'd gladly switch places.





	Vacuus

You don't want to lose her, no, that's why you'd vehemently protest - or, at least protest a bit - too all the wellmeaning (Sora always is) suggestions that she puts your memory to what it should be.

That is, as far as you know - you don't remember - back to nothing. What memories worth saving do you even  _truly_ have? Probably none.

What is there to rememember? Getting created by Vexen? Getting beaten by Sora? Spouting nonsense? Empty Castle floors? No, thanks, can live without all that.

You don't want to lose the precious memories you do have. Of her. Of Naminé, that is. Of Sora. Of the happiness you felt on Destiny Islands (where you've never set your foot). You don't want to, because... if you lose that, you'd have to face the fact there is no  _you_ at all.

And that, for all your bravado, you're still too terrified to do, and so... if there  _is_ another way, you'd take it. No matter from whom, whether you trust that, or whether it may turn out to be another lie. You're a fake, and you're a destroyer of truth, because in truth, you don't exist.

And why not? The guy who says there is another way, he seems to be lying, but then again, what does he know about lying, when he's lying that he doesn't exist, and he clearly does, he's beginning to exist, at least? So maybe unbeknowest to himself, he's actually telling the truth about your possibility of separate existence, that's not at all Riku, too. And anyway, why does everybody here lie they have no Heart, when yours is almost empty, but at least you can smell those things? Like that redheaded assassin. His is a faint smell of a candlelight, a real one and not an illusion of candlight that he seems to still to regard it as, one freshly ignited by some helpful hand or hands, and shrouded in protective Darkness of lies and broken dreams, a cosy one. And he can't see that? Can't smell it from so close? You don't understand that.

And so, about you becoming a not-Riku real person, maybe it's actually the truth and the Organisation's redhead just thinks it's not. Let's try it, why not? You can't be less than you already are, so you risk nothing, but you've got so much to gain.

And it's better than deleting false memories, which would mean losing her. 

At least, you don't call anybody at the Castle a liar outloud. No, not when you'll forever cherish Naminé's memory, a complete and utter lie itself. And so, you don't correct their lies and self-deceptions, either, what for? You lie and you kill, you're no different.

You just want to exist, and be not-Riku, and not to forget _her_ in the process. Is that so much to ask?

Maybe you love Naminé because she willed it, but what's wrong with that? It's your choice whether you continue or not, after all, now that you're free, and you're choosing to continue. Does that make you a person?

Redhead - Axel - thinks not yet - and what do you know, anyway, for now, being only a few days old? Let's try something more for personhood, and see if it sticks.


End file.
